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Iranian President Denounces Paul the Octopus, That Symbol of Western Decadence

July 29, 2010

Photostream : Paul The Octopus Predicts Spain Win In Final

(KATAKAMI / SOCCERFANHOUSE.COM)  Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the president and point man for one of the most intolerant theocracies on the planet, has accused Paul the Octopus — the German-based cephalopod who became the surprising star of the World Cup by “picking” eight out of eight games correctly — of “spreading Western propaganda and superstition.”

Paul, who lives at an aquarium in Oberhausen, was presented with boxes adorned with the flags of the competing teams before each of Germany’s seven games in South Africa and the final between Spain and the Netherlands. Each time, Paul ate the food from the box featuring the flag of the team that went on to win. He’s now a global celebrity.

Whether Paul is lucky, a genius or just plain magical, his behavior clearly resembled voting a bit too much for Ahmadinejad’s liking. The exercising of free will, even by an animal with the brain the size of a peanut, isn’t very palatable to a dictatorship. Last weekend in Tehran, Ahmadinejad, who routinely denies the occurrence of the Holocaust and threatens various infidels with nuclear annihilation, laid the smack down on his most threatening adversary yet.

The president said that Paul is a symbol of “decadence and decay,” and added that “Those who believe in this type of thing cannot be the leaders of the global nations that aspire, like Iran, to human perfection, basing themselves in the love of all sacred values.”

We all got a first hand look at the Iranian government’s “love of all sacred values” in the crackdowns following Ahmadinejad’s re-election last year, during which dozens of citizens were killed.

Paul should be safe at his home in Germany. The aquarium where he lives has turned down offers for his purchase from Spain — where he’s now regarded as a talisman for picking La Roja to win the final — and Russia, where a bookmaker reportedly offered more than $100,000. Perhaps the facility will install extra security in case someone offended by an octopus tries something rash.

There won’t be any more predictions, however. The Sea Life Centre said Paul will retire a winner and is finished picking games. “He won’t give any more oracle predictions, either in football, or in politics, lifestyle or economy. Paul will get back to his former job, namely making children laugh,” his handlers said.

We assume Ahmadinejad will have a problem with that as well. (*)

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